Ever since I moved to Vancouver, I have been wanting to check out the Monday night Poetry Slam on Commercial Drive. A mere two years later, I finally made it! On Monday night, Scott and I squeezed into Cafe Deux Soleil with a hundred others, eager to hear spoken word. It was youth night and it was brimming with activity and excitement! It was standing room only with a line up that went out the door for an hour after the show started. Skinny jeans, pig-tails, hipsters, and red lipsters. Parents, teens, grandparents, university students, and the miscellaneous patrons like me all piled into the Cafe to feed our right brains.
What a vibe! It felt like summer camp with lots of quirky traditions. For example, after every newbie that spoke, the crowd chanted "Please come back!" in a super man tone.
This is one advantage I'll give to growing up in the city. I mean, what an amazing opportunity for high schoolers (if one goes out and finds it)! This definitely wasn't available to me when I grew up in the Cowichan Valley.
A 15 year old guy named Jacob won the Poetry Slam and he inspired me to write this poem. It's not really how I feel (I mean, I'm only 27 and I hope I have plenty of future left!) but the idea for this poem jumped into my head and I thought I'd write it regardless of whether it depicts my perspective or not :)
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I miss the future.
I miss the wonder and mystery that held it
in a foggy picture frame
where characters were just out of reach
Their faces slightly blurred
their shapes existing to tantalize my curiousity.
I miss blissful assumptions.
A future brimming with happiness, accomplishment, satisfaction. Triumph even.
As if life were something to win.
Something to accomplish.
I miss waiting for Christmas morning with more excitement than my small body could contain.
I miss the wonder of not knowing where I'd get to in the unknown world. Where would I settle down? Definitely not on the Island. Definitely not in Canada. Europe? Africa? South America? Who knew?
I miss knowing with certainty that I would find Mr. Right, share motherhood with my best friends, have 3 adorable kids, settle down with a front and back yard and make awesome tiramisu for my neighbours' parties.
I miss anticipating that I would change the world.
I miss knowing that I can be anything when I grow up
I miss not knowing what I will be when I grow up.
Anticipation.
Vagueness is a perfect conduit for hope.
Loose boundaries breed possibilities.
Loose expectations nurture satisfaction.
I miss the future.
Or do I miss the past?
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